An Ode to Man's Best Friend

~I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive~


Right now, I should be writing a reaction paper on a chapter I read in my Schools and Society class. Instead, I lay here on my bed with a warm laptop across my legs and a sleeping puppy at the foot of my bed. 

Actually, not so much a puppy anymore. My little bundle of black fur is 11 years old today. 77 dog years, or something like that. 

She is certainly doing her
birthday right. 


Enjoying every minute. 













11 years might not seem like a long time to have a dog, but Cherry has been with me throughout most of my childhood and so to me it seems like she's been around forever. 

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog." Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted. 
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.

So for me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. 
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.


Not many people see this side of me. I've always had a soft spot for dogs and I cannot think of a dog that I've met that I haven't liked.
Scratch that. One time at the dog beach a pit bull attacked my Cherry and like a mama bear, I jumped in to help. I have a scar on my wrist to remind me of that day. That day, I connected with my dog on a new level. I think Cherry knew that I had her back no matter what and I would risk myself for her. 

But besides that moment, I have a connection with dogs. I understand their need for attention and I wish that people were like dogs;non-judgmental, loves everyone, and don't care about the stupid things in life. 

Have you ever been driving and seen a dog in another car with his head stuck out the window? Tongue out, eyes wide, tail  going a million miles an hour. Dogs are just excited to feel the wind in their face and to be with you. That's it. As long as they get to be with you, they are content. 

That's how it's always been with Cherry. When I was about 12 when we were training her to be a seeing eye dog for the blind, we took her to Sea World one weekend. Cherry would have been about 1 or 2 years old.  At the end of the day when the park was closing, people were swarming towards the exit. Pushing, shoving, trying to stay close to their loved ones. The only thing that I remember about that night was this- my mom had Cherry's leash in her left hand with Cherry walking on her left. I was on the other side of Cherry and felt overwhelmed by the growing crowds and could sense that Cherry felt the same. And then, I felt it; a small, wet nose touched my leg. I looked down and Cherry glanced up at me, never once breaking her steady, sure pace. Every minute or so Cherry would simply touch her nose to my leg, almost as a reassurance to me and to her. She was making sure I stayed close and letting me know that she was there as well. 9 years later, and I still remember our dependency on each other that day. 

As long as I can remember, Cherry has slept on my bed with me. I don't usually like things or dogs touching me when I sleep (good luck with that, Matt!) but Cherry and I worked. You see, Cherry doesn't like to be messed with or touched too much either. So we worked out a system and we have both slept comfortably on my twin sized bed all these years. And even if for some reason she chooses not to sleep on my bed at night, I still sleep in the same diagonal position as if she were there. It's a natural feeling. When I left for 3 months and moved to Wisconsin, my sister said Cherry not once slept on my bed the whole time I was gone. And when I returned, she resumed her spot on my bed as if I hadn't been gone. 

Now, my girl is an oldie. I call her Grandma now because of her gray hair and how she shuffles around the house from her weak back legs. I am nervous for the day that she can't leap up onto my bed but if I have to, I'll lift her myself. I would do anything for my odd, water-hating, allergy-stricken, sometimes cat-like, black lab. 

Happy birthday, my little weirdo. 

Today was a Fairytale

5/?/11- We locked eyes
10/1/11- He asked me to be his lady
2/?/12- We fell in love
12/26/26- I SAID YES!!

I'm engaged. That should have an exclamation point on the end.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!

That's better!! :) 

Look at us. Such kids. This was the day we saw each other for the first time since we were little kids. I can still remember feeling my heart jump when I first saw him and thinking how it was weird that I felt that way about seeing someone for the first time. 

But anyways, a lot of people asked me about how Matthew proposed and I got really tired of telling the story over and over and over. So here it goes for all those who have yet to hear it.

Once in a lifetime, you meet someone who changes everything. Matthew is my someone. And he is my everything.
For Christmas this year, I told Matt that all I wanted for Christmas was a surprise date day. What with family and work, we hardly get a day to spend just the two of us together. On December 26th, I got my wish. :) 
I was told to arrive at Matt's house at 8:30am that morning, a big feat for me since I am a huge fan of sleeping in. Nevertheless, I made it with 5 minutes to spare to find out that Matt had made me a delicious pancake breakfast. After stuffing myself full of pancake and opening presents with his family, we were on our way by 9:30. I still had no idea what we were doing for the day. 
About an hour and a half later, we arrived at our destination. Marie Selby Botanical Gardens in Sarasota, to be exact. I have never seen a more beautiful garden. We fed a family of crazy koi fish, stuck our heads in a meditation rock, toured Marie Selby's refurbished home, and enjoyed a tea tasting in the tea shop. 

Matthew also defaced public property. All in the name of love though ;) 

I was sad to leave when we were finally done. I loved the calm tranquility of the garden and I loved the beautiful morning I spent with my love. But Matt reassured me that there was plenty more surprises to come. 
So I relented, and we headed off again. 
As we continued our drive I noticed we passed a sign that pointed cars towards Siesta Key Beach, which is my favorite vacation destination. I confessed to Matt that I wished we were going there that day. He just smiled.
"Maybe someday we can." he said with a smirk. 
We traveled down some quaint back roads, winding left and right. By this time I was completely lost. Until finally, the trees broke and I discovered that we were in the heart of downtown Siesta Key! What a little booger. He had planned to take me to Siesta Key all along. 
We pulled up to a pizza place that boasted being the best pizza in Siesta Key. After lunch we hit the streets for some shopping and coffee in a unique coffee shop with a hawaiian-surfing theme. 
 We got coffee, ice cream, went to a wine tasting, shopped some more( I am so blessed to have a man who is willing to shop with me). Soon, I was ready to go but Matthew insisted that we had to stay until 5:30. Weird. 
5:30 rolls around, and the temperature starts to drop right as we hoof it out to the beach. The sun was beginning to set and everyone was making their way out to the beach to watch it.

"Man, why are there so many people around?" Matt complained.

I thought this was weird since Matt is the most laid-back person I know who doesn't usually care about the people surrounding him. 
He made us hike a ways past all the "people" meanwhile, the whole time I am complaining that we are missing the sunset. We finally climbed up on a closed lifeguard stand and watched the remainder of the sunset. 
Right as the sun was hitting the water, Matthew whispered in my ear,
"Do you want your last Christmas present now?" 

"Yes!" I exclaimed, having no idea he had gotten me anything else. 

"Okay, but you have to close your eyes." he said.

"Why, isn't it already wrapped?" I asked stupidly. "Why do I need to close my eyes if it's wrapped?"

"Oh my gosh, Christen! Just close your eyes, okay?" Matthew said, exasperated.

"Okay okay! Sheesh!" I relented. I squeezed my eyes shut and for effect, covered them with my hands. And I waited.

From behind me I heard, "Um...ok...you can open your eyes now."

"What? Why are you standing beh-"

There he was on his knee, looking up at me with such a look of love, with a little black box. 

"Christen, I need to ask you something. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you be my wife?"

He may or may not have said those exact words. I don't remember much besides bursting into tears. I cried so much that Matthew felt bad and stood up to hug me. I clung to him, soaking his shoulder with tears. Finally, I pulled back and held out my left hand.

"Put it on me!" I insisted.

"Well I would...but there's a small problem." Matthew said slowly.

"What? Does it not fit?"

"Um...no. You haven't given me an answer yet." He replied. 

"Oh! Yes! Yes of course I'll marry you!" I said, giggling and crying at the same time. His face light up and he took the ring and put it on my finger. A perfect fit.

Isn't it gorgeous? He did and AMAZING job picking it out. I would have never picked this style out for myself, but I love it. 

The whole way home from the beach was a blur of tears, laughter, calling EVERYONE I knew, and staring at my ring. I insisted on driving with the lights on so that I could stare at it. 

I am so beyond blessed. The outpouring of love we received from everyone was amazing and I am so excited to start this new chapter of our lives together.

Finally! 

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." -Emily Bronte

When the Brook Dried Up

The water was gone. Not just gone...bare,bones dry. In fact, if he knelt down he could touch the cracks in the old brook bed.
Why? He had obeyed...he had been faithful. In fact, he had not hesitated.
The Lord had said, " Go hide" and he had gone..no questions asked.
So, he had done the right thing. Why was the water gone? Then the Lord came again. Only these instructions  made less sense than the first, and he still obeyed. God said, "Go to Zarephath."
And what awaited him there? Just a widow and her son...who were worse off than he was, if that was even possible. But again, he did not fuss or even question. The Bible shows he simply walked the long road to Zarephath and found the widow. If he felt down and out, this widow was in a worse position...preparing her last meal.
Imagine that image that he stumbled upon. Doubtless this woman had cried tears until there were no tears left...but the raw emotion was still there in the absence of tears.
Her son was getting ready to eat his final meal with her and then they would both begin the horrible process of slowly starving to death.
"Oh Lord, this will not be easy" the dusty prophet must have thought to himself. Nevertheless, he approaced the woman with the authority that only comes from above and requested some water. A steep request in a severe drought such as this...but she began to walk away.
Then, he called after her..."Oh, and a little bit of food if you have it!"
That's when the mama bear in her came out.
"As your God lives," she cried in outrage, "I only have a little bit of flour and oil left in my name!"
The prophet tells her to make it anyways and bring it to him.
"God will not let your provisions run out." he explains, and she believes him and does what he asks.

Faith and trust are under construction at the brooks and widows houses of our own lives. We may not like it..we may not understand it..but neither did this prophet at the time that it was happening. Talk about trust. This man trusted God in his most basic human need...food and water. And God brought it to him.
I know in my heart that there must have been at least a moment or two where Elijah( the prophet) said to himself, "Did i mishear my next direction? Am I doing something wrong? Why has He not given me my next direction?"
And then, when God does tell this prophet to move on ..where does he end up? In a worse situation that before! Now, he finds himself dependent on a widow, who had a rough time just providing enough for herself. I know that if I had been him I might have just died of fear just thinking of asking this poor starving lady for the rest of her food. But you know what I am holding out for? The ending. You see, if you keep on reading the story, the climax is coming out...God is about to use this one prophet to bring ultimate glory to Himself! The people of Israel had pretty much thrown the One true God out the window and had been worshiping Baal. God used this dusty, thirsty brook-dwelling, raven-fed prophet to show a whole mountain side full of people the power and awesome wonder of God.
Right now, I am sitting at the dried up brook and I am asking, "Why? I thought I was doing what you told me? I thought this was the road I was supposed to take."  I am walking from the dried up brook to a widow's house and thinking, "How did this happen?"
But I do not know the final chapter. I do not see, yet, how God will be glorified, but I am going to trust that He will be. Just like the prophet sitting at his brook...I do not know what the next chapter will be. But I can tell you one thing, if I even get to have 1/100th of an ending like Elijah the prophet...then my brook experience will be worth it all.

Think.

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.  She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. 
She told her boyfriend, "If only I could see the world, I would marry you." 

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.  When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. 
He asked her, "Now that you can see the world....will you marry me?" 
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. 
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying,

"Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."


This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Very few remember what life was like before and who was by their side in the most painful situations. 

Today before you say an unkind word- think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food- think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife- think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life- think of someone who went to heaven too early. 

Before you complain about your children- think of someone who desires children but are barren

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't sweep or clean- think of the people who are living on the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive- think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job- think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing your finger and condemning another- Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one Maker.


And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, 

remember this-

"Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your 
  life. "   Proverbs 4:23 

Be still. Be speechless.

Most of you know this, but my boyfriend, I call him Matt :), lives 3 hours away from me. Over the past 2 or so months, his family moved down here but Matt stayed up in Jax to work. I am taking care of his dog, Duke.

Isn't he cute??????

Yes, this is a boy dog with a bow in his hair. Matt will probably kill me for this, but all of my other dogs are girls so this was kind of expected. Duke doesn't mind...really! ;)

To make a long story short, Matt and I have gone through A LOT these past few months.
I will be completely honest- I am selfish. I want my boyfriend to live closer to me so that we can do normal couple things like, oh I don't know, go on dates, hug, kiss, all that fun stuff.
So when I voiced my oh so wonderful opinion, I was mad when Matt told me how he felt.

Not all of you know Matt's story. That's for him to share, but basically if it weren't for God's amazing grace, Matt wouldn't be the strong, godly, extremely sexy man that he is today. Okay, my opinion is biased maybe a little bit.

When I stood there crying, begging Matt to move down to be near me, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Christen, I have spent my whole life running away from God. I would move down to be with you in a heartbeat. But if I move down there and it's not what God wants for my life right now, I would be so unhappy and our relationship would fall apart. I can't run away from God and His plan anymore, babe."

Powerful stuff.  What a great guy, but I was mad. I stayed mad, I just didn't know it. Every time someone would bring up the whole "moving" issue, I would feel this bitterness creep its way up my stomach to my heart and even though I felt it, I didn't deal with it. I swallowed it, and smiled like everything was okay. Whenever someone brought it up, I would brush it off.
"Don't even get me started on that subject."
"I just don't want to talk about it right now."

I was supposed to keep Duke for these 2 months of transition. By now, Matt should have found out whether he is staying in Jacksonville or moving. And the controlling woman in me comes out every once in a while, and I start to nag...and when that doesn't work, I yell. Great method, right?

So last night I was on the phone with Matt. Even though he was beaten down from a long 14 hour work day, that didn't matter to me. All I wanted was to scream at him and tell him that he better make a decision quick because I was getting tired of waiting! But something told me to stay quiet.

So I did.

I got off the phone, and lost it. I crumpled to the ground and cried. I found myself mentally yelling at God, telling him everything that was going wrong.
"God, he should have had his answer from work by now! He's running out of time at the place he is living, and he doesn't have any money to get his own place...blah blah blah."

And then I realized something. God already knows what's going on.
Isaiah 6:1- " I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple."

I don't know about you, but I always picture God in a recliner with His feet kicked up, eating some popcorn. He's got this. 

I realized last night that I had it all wrong. I mean, it's not like while I was telling God all that's going on that He was like, "Oh my gosh I had NO IDEA that's what's been going on Christen! I am so sorry, I'll step in from now on...thanks for the update!" 

Really? I almost felt God roll His eyes while I sat there giving Him a news report on all the bad stuff going on. 

In the midst of my pity party, I heard it.

"Be still my daughter, I've got this, and I've got you. Be still and know that I am God." 

I don't know about you, but when God talks to me like that, instant peace and instant chills. 

All crying and yelling stopped, and peace flooded my senses. 

Psalm 46:10- "Be still and know that I am God"

This verse means everything to me, now more than ever. 

God was telling me that He is everything I need Him to be. He is my peace, my joy, and He is my Rock to trust when life just doesn't make sense. 

When I realized that last night, I let go of my bitterness. What a relief, I am free!! Does it threaten to surface again? Of course, but my faith rests on God's power, not on man's wisdom. My strength is not my own, because it will fail every time. 

What a relief to know that I don't have to do this alone. When I am tired and beat down, I can press in to God and He will fight for me. He will be strong for me. He will love me. 

Exodus 14: 14- The Lord will fight for you, you need only be silent.

"Be still, my daughter, and know that I am everything." 

I'll end this with words to a great, powerful song.

"Be Still"- Steven Curtis Chapman

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of peace
Let the noise and clamor cease
Be still

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that he has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still

Be still and know that he is God
Be still and know he is our Father
Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of his unfailing heart of love

Be still. Be speechless.

Faith.Fulfillment.Freedom

For the longest time I have wanted to start a blog. But every time I started one, no words would come. I would stare at a blank screen trying to piece together my thoughts that I wanted to share with the world, and instead I would get nothing. Discouraged, I would close my computer and decide that the idea was stupid.

Until today.

This past weekend, something happened inside of me. I experienced God in a whole new way and words can't explain it, but I am changed. Let me explain.

I have been a Jesus-lover for a very, very long time. But for me, it was almost an inherited lifestyle. I grew up thinking that I was a Christian because that's all I knew. But slowly, God broke the walls in my heart and showed me that He is passionately in love with me.

The God of the galaxies, is in love with me.

How do you fathom that? How do you even begin to understand that much love?
I don't know, but what I do know is that the peace and the joy that I have experienced from knowing Christ is enough for me. And I know that His love with never fail, give up, or run out.

Anyways, I finally found the words to start a blog.
I chose the name 'Becoming More', because I am in love with the "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl" devotion, and I am sure I will quote it often. In fact, this post was a devo I did a while ago that stuck out to me recently.

Fulfillment-

Satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character.

I want my life with Jesus to be fulfilling. I want my belief to work no matter what life throws at me. I want to be so certain of God's presence that I never feel like I have to face anything in my own strength or rely on my own perspectives. My strength will weaken during hard times. My perspectives get skewed by my emotions(and trust me, girls have a lot of them!).
I want total security not matter what happens.
In other words, I want my relationship with Jesus to be ENOUGH to keep me sane and together and still fully devoted.
Fulfillment means to be completely satisfied. How might our lives look if we were so filled with God's truths we could let go of the pain of our past? True fulfillment is never found in seeking to do enough, be enough, have enough, know enough, accomplish enough.


This blog is a reflection of my adventure on seeking fulfillment in God. Yes, I have a man in my life whom I love with my whole heart. Yes, I have a great job, a great car, 5(yes, 5) amazing dogs,a loving family and a pretty normal life.

But none of those things will ever, truly fulfill what Christ can do. It took me 21 years to figure that out.

1 Chronicles 28:9- Learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve Him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the Lord searches every heart and knows every plan and thought.

If you seek Him, you will find Him.

I am seeking, and I am finding so much more than I could ever imagine. I can't wait for this adventure to continue.