Being a Cheerleader

For the past few months , I have been in prayer asking God to show me how I can love Matthew more. The responses I have heard from God have been incredible , things so unexpected. 

The main thing I have come to learn is that I am to love others the way I love Matthew. I want my love and devotion to Matthew to be an example of Christ in us to others. 

But recently, I have learned something else. 

I need to be a cheerleader for Matt. Unfortunately, that was the best term I could come up with. Which is ironic because I have never liked the thought of being a "cheerleader" for anything. Nothing against girls (and guys) who are cheerleaders, I just don't have that personality. 

This week was tough. Matthew moved in with a friend and spent the last week moving and packing and stressing. Meanwhile, there's little old me sitting over here thinking, 
"Pay attention to me!" 

I found myself getting upset and jealous whenever Matt told me he was hanging out with his roommate. Which is hilarious because 

a) his roommate is a guy and happens to be his best friend
b) there is absolutely NO REASON for me to be jealous

Sometimes, I don't get girls. Heaven help Matthew, he has to marry this bucket of emotions! 

Anyways, I had this feeling the past week that Matthew just wasn't himself. I have this view of Matt in my head and these are the things that come to mind when I think about him:

•  Leader
• Strong
• My rock
• Active
• Sturdy
• Tough

• Energetic 

All the traits of a strong, dependable leader. I get this view of Matthew in my head that since he is the leader of our relationship , nothing ever fazes him. I always see Matthew as someone who never gets tired, stresses out; I view him as someone who always has it together. 

So when Matthew does have a bad week and gets stressed out, I do what any normal woman would do. I nag. I feel like there is some genetic code that is scripted  in every woman do nag a man when they are stressed out. But then again , I never took biology. Or chemistry , whatever. 

This week, I have been praying and asking God how I can encourage Matthew when he comes home defeated and tired. It came to me this morning as I was studying the life of Abraham. 

It started out with this simple verse: 

Genesis 15:1- "Do not be afraid. 

I am your shield,

your very great reward."

        ~ When you fear what lies ahead, remember that God will stay with you through difficult times and that he has promised you great blessings.~

 It was with that simple verse that I was reminded that I need to encourage Matthew. My first thought when I read that verse was to run and grab my phone and send that to him. So I did. In that moment, I knew that's how I was supposed to be encouraging him.  Yes, he is a strong leader, but he still gets beat down. I need to be there to pick him back up again. 

This is better explained by a excerpt of a story I read. 

  "Well, it looks like Billy and I are supposed to get married someday." 

"Yes, I know." Marilyn took Bonnie's hand and clasped it tightly. "And I can't imagine a more wonderful girl for him."

A surge of warmth flooded Bonnie's cheeks. "Thank you. Um, do you think I am a distraction for him? I mean, am I getting in the way of him doing what he's supposed to be doing?"

"A distraction? If you mean, does he notice how pretty you are? He'd be blind  not to notice." Marilyn responded. 

Bonnie smiled. The compliment was sweet, pleasant, but she didn't want to focus on her looks. 

"What I mean is, if Billy has a job to do, and I'm with him, he might be thinking about taking care of me, you know, protecting me instead of himself. That kind of distraction."       

Marilyn folded her hands over her knees and nodded slowly.

"I see what you mean. I think the best thing you can do is to let him decide if you're a distraction. I think you can trust him to keep his thoughts straight. He's gone through so much. It's like each victory added a piece of armor that protects him from temptations that might come his way." She wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them closer. " Trials change a man, you know. They make a godly man stronger, wiser, a better leader, and believe it or not, more humble."

Marilyn nodded toward Billy, who was sleeping.

"Whatever you do, Bonnie , give him room to be a leader. Give him time to fill out his masculine frame, always supporting him with love and encouragement. If he drags himself home from a defeat, impatient nagging will just cut his legs from under him, but an encouraging word will puff his chest out and make him charge back in. He needs a woman to inject him with power and purpose, because a good man draws his sword for only one reason, to protect his wife and children."

  I don't even have any words after that. That last paragraph speaks for itself.