Cloud 9

I have to take a moment and brag on my fiance.  Be warned- when I told the story to my boss he rolled his eyes and smiled. This story is more for the hopeless romantics that love a good "awwww" story.

First off, let me just say that wedding planning isn't always super fun. With that said, let me tell my story.

A few months ago I was out bike riding with my seestar and her boy, DD (silly nicknames, just ignore me). We rode along the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin and wove our way towards Hammock Park. As we were biking along, we passed by a small chapel. I have always known that chapel was there, but never gave it a second glance. But on that day for some reason, something drew me in. I paused in my bike ride to simply look at the chapel.

That's it.

You know when you get that feeling? When something just feels, right? 

I had that feeling when I met Matthew for the first time.
I felt it again when I was looking down at him on his knee when he proposed.
And that day, I felt it again. 

I went on my merry way that day, with the quaint little chapel still on my mind. And Matthew and I continued our search for a venue/ location. I wanted to keep an open mind, so I went along with looking at different beach venues, and other locations farther away. Most of the places we found were beautiful, and I had a great time searching all the places that Florida has to offer as far as weddings go. 
But for some reason, my mind kept taking me back to that small chapel in Dunedin. Every time I found a new venue that I loved, I found myself thinking, "It's beautiful, but it's not the chapel." 

Finally, I could ignore it no longer.

Last night, I timidly confided in Matthew about my love for this chapel. I told him that I had my heart set on this place and that I was secretly hoping that it would be available for us to rent.  He asked the name of the chapel, and told me he would look into it.

Fast forward to the next day. 

I got a text message from Matt that was very mysterious. 

A few minutes later, I got a phone call. It was the chapel coordinator for the chapel I was in love with! She told me that my "wonderful fiance" had called her and told her that his fiance, me, had my heart set on this place and if there was anything she could do to help. 

The next thing I know, I find out that Matthew and I have a tour scheduled for this weekend!!

I literally could not think about anything else all day long. I smiled all through my math tutoring, smiled all the way to my drive to work, smiled all the way home. My heart is so full of love and happiness for my awesome man who will stop at nothing to make me happy. 

Gosh, I love him! 

Marriage Advice from Unexpected People

"A true love story never ends."

Today started out like any other Friday. 

7am- wake up
8am- actually wake up
8:30am- Get to work

Pretty typical morning. 

During a break between patients Matt called and as usual, our conversation drifted towards wedding plans. Unfortunately, we have different ideas and more often than not we end up getting frustrated with each other and no plans get worked out. Today was no different.

I got back to work, and was greeted by a friendly face that always pokes her head out to greet me good morning. But today was different. 

As I greeted Mrs. Smith* (name has been changed) and asked how she was doing, she told me that her husband had passed away this past week. Her husband of 70 years. She is 90 years old, he was 91. 

Married for 70 years. Amazing.

As I expressed my sorrow for her deceased husband, she looked at me with tears brimming in her eyes and asked if I was married. I explained that I was engaged and in the process of trying to plan our wedding. Mrs. Smith got that far-away look in her eye and leaned closer to me.

"May I offer you some advice?" She asked. 

"Of course." I replied.

She smiled. What she said next are words that I will always remember. 

"Marriage does not guarantee that you will be together forever. It's only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship, and faith in your relationship to make it last. So don't sweat the small stuff about this wedding planning. If you know he's the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then start building up the attributes I just told you instead of getting frustrated about a wedding day. You want a marriage more beautiful than your wedding."

I couldn't believe it. What an amazing woman. What an amazing life they must have had together. I can only hope that Matthew and I will be as happy and content with each other as they were. 

We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract. 

Being a Cheerleader

For the past few months , I have been in prayer asking God to show me how I can love Matthew more. The responses I have heard from God have been incredible , things so unexpected. 

The main thing I have come to learn is that I am to love others the way I love Matthew. I want my love and devotion to Matthew to be an example of Christ in us to others. 

But recently, I have learned something else. 

I need to be a cheerleader for Matt. Unfortunately, that was the best term I could come up with. Which is ironic because I have never liked the thought of being a "cheerleader" for anything. Nothing against girls (and guys) who are cheerleaders, I just don't have that personality. 

This week was tough. Matthew moved in with a friend and spent the last week moving and packing and stressing. Meanwhile, there's little old me sitting over here thinking, 
"Pay attention to me!" 

I found myself getting upset and jealous whenever Matt told me he was hanging out with his roommate. Which is hilarious because 

a) his roommate is a guy and happens to be his best friend
b) there is absolutely NO REASON for me to be jealous

Sometimes, I don't get girls. Heaven help Matthew, he has to marry this bucket of emotions! 

Anyways, I had this feeling the past week that Matthew just wasn't himself. I have this view of Matt in my head and these are the things that come to mind when I think about him:

•  Leader
• Strong
• My rock
• Active
• Sturdy
• Tough

• Energetic 

All the traits of a strong, dependable leader. I get this view of Matthew in my head that since he is the leader of our relationship , nothing ever fazes him. I always see Matthew as someone who never gets tired, stresses out; I view him as someone who always has it together. 

So when Matthew does have a bad week and gets stressed out, I do what any normal woman would do. I nag. I feel like there is some genetic code that is scripted  in every woman do nag a man when they are stressed out. But then again , I never took biology. Or chemistry , whatever. 

This week, I have been praying and asking God how I can encourage Matthew when he comes home defeated and tired. It came to me this morning as I was studying the life of Abraham. 

It started out with this simple verse: 

Genesis 15:1- "Do not be afraid. 

I am your shield,

your very great reward."

        ~ When you fear what lies ahead, remember that God will stay with you through difficult times and that he has promised you great blessings.~

 It was with that simple verse that I was reminded that I need to encourage Matthew. My first thought when I read that verse was to run and grab my phone and send that to him. So I did. In that moment, I knew that's how I was supposed to be encouraging him.  Yes, he is a strong leader, but he still gets beat down. I need to be there to pick him back up again. 

This is better explained by a excerpt of a story I read. 

  "Well, it looks like Billy and I are supposed to get married someday." 

"Yes, I know." Marilyn took Bonnie's hand and clasped it tightly. "And I can't imagine a more wonderful girl for him."

A surge of warmth flooded Bonnie's cheeks. "Thank you. Um, do you think I am a distraction for him? I mean, am I getting in the way of him doing what he's supposed to be doing?"

"A distraction? If you mean, does he notice how pretty you are? He'd be blind  not to notice." Marilyn responded. 

Bonnie smiled. The compliment was sweet, pleasant, but she didn't want to focus on her looks. 

"What I mean is, if Billy has a job to do, and I'm with him, he might be thinking about taking care of me, you know, protecting me instead of himself. That kind of distraction."       

Marilyn folded her hands over her knees and nodded slowly.

"I see what you mean. I think the best thing you can do is to let him decide if you're a distraction. I think you can trust him to keep his thoughts straight. He's gone through so much. It's like each victory added a piece of armor that protects him from temptations that might come his way." She wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them closer. " Trials change a man, you know. They make a godly man stronger, wiser, a better leader, and believe it or not, more humble."

Marilyn nodded toward Billy, who was sleeping.

"Whatever you do, Bonnie , give him room to be a leader. Give him time to fill out his masculine frame, always supporting him with love and encouragement. If he drags himself home from a defeat, impatient nagging will just cut his legs from under him, but an encouraging word will puff his chest out and make him charge back in. He needs a woman to inject him with power and purpose, because a good man draws his sword for only one reason, to protect his wife and children."

  I don't even have any words after that. That last paragraph speaks for itself. 

Promises

"Sometimes it's hard to keep believing
In what you can't see
That everything happens for a reason
Even the worst life brings
If you're reaching for an answer
And you don't know what to pray
Just open up the pages
Let His word be your strength
And hold on to the promises"

I find myself constantly forgetting all that God has done for me, especially in times when it is hard to trust Him. When things are tough, when life is busy and stressful, I find myself feeling like I am drowning. Overwhelmed with the world, I want to give up. 

Which is why I challenged myself to start looking at the promises that God has made known in His amazing Book. 

Abraham was the first that came to mind. Originally I planned on studying the chapter in Abraham's life where he almost had to sacrifice his son, Issac, but I began reading in Genesis 12 and realized that Abraham's whole life was a story of faith in itself. Which is where this blog begins.

The Story of Abraham- A Life of Faith

God appears to Abram one day and promised to make his descendants into a great nation. All that Abram had to do was agree and obey God.

"Leave everything you know behind and go somewhere I will show you." 

So Abram left.

What? 

God didn't even tell Abram where he was going!  Something I read in the New Testament came to mind when I read this.

Luke 9:3- When Jesus sent out His twelve disciples, He told them to "take nothing for the journey- no staff, no bag, no extra tunic, no food, no money."

Why this reoccurring theme? 

Jesus was forcing His disciples to trust Him. Just like He was forcing Abram to trust Him. God would have to come through for Abram because Abram had nothing else to fall back on. 

-----This place of trust isn't a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we've been taught about proper planning. We like finding refuge in what we already have than in what we hope God will provide------

God promised to bless Abram and make him great, as long as Abram trusted Him even if he couldn't see the next step. 

So Abram goes on his way, stopping every once in a while and "calling on the name of the Lord" (verse 8). At one stop, God appeared to Abram and told him that  the "land would be given to his kids, keep moving." I feel as though Abram probably felt like a big idiot dragging his wife around these random places and asking God, "Here? How 'bout here? This looks nice, here God?" 
Though each time he stopped, he would build an altar. Why? For God's people, altars symbolized communion with God and commemorated notable encounters with him. Altars remained in place for years as continual reminders of God's protection and promises. 
Abram was reminding himself that God was still faithful.

Remember that; we'll come back to it! 

But suddenly, Abram gets tired. He gets tired of waiting around and wandering from place to place hoping that God will finally show him where to stay. Frustration arises, anger builds, and I'm sure his faith in God's promise was lost.
So Abram set out toward a place called Negev. When he got there, a bad famine hit the land and he and Sarai set out for Egypt. Abram, acting out of fear, asked Sarai to lie to the Egyptians and tell them she was his sister so that he wouldn't die and so that he would be given a place of honor for having such a beautiful, desired "sister." 
Weird, right?
Well, because of his deception and greed, Abram grew very rich and wealthy. He was able to watch his wealth grow and multiply daily. 

Good old God steps in and inflicts a serious disease on Pharaoh and the Egyptians and they get mad at Abram for it and give him back his wife/sister and for lying. They get kicked out of Egypt, and head back to Negev and the famine they tried to escape.

I love this part.

"From Negev, Abram went from place to place until he came back to the place where he had first build his altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord. "

Abram went back to the place where he felt God the most. He went back to the place that would remind him of what God had promised. Abram lost faith in God's protection, even after all God had promised him. 
But he went back. He went back to the place of prayer and worship and renewed his love and loyalty to God. He was reminded that God was at the center of his life. 

So why is this relative to my life?

•  It reminded me that a life of faith isn't always perfect. And it reminded me that even the people we idolize in the Bible messed up and didn't trust God. I mean, they had God walking with them for heaven's sake! You'd think that would keep them on track and ever- faithful. 
• It reminded me that regular worship helps me remember what God desires.
• It reminded me that God is at the center of my life
• It reminded me that I can always go back to God, always.
• It reminded me that God hasn't forgotten about me and my "little" situations I have going on.

God promised Abram a blessed life. But He didn't promise that getting there would be easy. He just required one thing of Abram- faith. 

He just requires one thing of me- faith. 

An Ode to Man's Best Friend

~I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive~


Right now, I should be writing a reaction paper on a chapter I read in my Schools and Society class. Instead, I lay here on my bed with a warm laptop across my legs and a sleeping puppy at the foot of my bed. 

Actually, not so much a puppy anymore. My little bundle of black fur is 11 years old today. 77 dog years, or something like that. 

She is certainly doing her
birthday right. 


Enjoying every minute. 













11 years might not seem like a long time to have a dog, but Cherry has been with me throughout most of my childhood and so to me it seems like she's been around forever. 

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog." Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted. 
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.

So for me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. 
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.


Not many people see this side of me. I've always had a soft spot for dogs and I cannot think of a dog that I've met that I haven't liked.
Scratch that. One time at the dog beach a pit bull attacked my Cherry and like a mama bear, I jumped in to help. I have a scar on my wrist to remind me of that day. That day, I connected with my dog on a new level. I think Cherry knew that I had her back no matter what and I would risk myself for her. 

But besides that moment, I have a connection with dogs. I understand their need for attention and I wish that people were like dogs;non-judgmental, loves everyone, and don't care about the stupid things in life. 

Have you ever been driving and seen a dog in another car with his head stuck out the window? Tongue out, eyes wide, tail  going a million miles an hour. Dogs are just excited to feel the wind in their face and to be with you. That's it. As long as they get to be with you, they are content. 

That's how it's always been with Cherry. When I was about 12 when we were training her to be a seeing eye dog for the blind, we took her to Sea World one weekend. Cherry would have been about 1 or 2 years old.  At the end of the day when the park was closing, people were swarming towards the exit. Pushing, shoving, trying to stay close to their loved ones. The only thing that I remember about that night was this- my mom had Cherry's leash in her left hand with Cherry walking on her left. I was on the other side of Cherry and felt overwhelmed by the growing crowds and could sense that Cherry felt the same. And then, I felt it; a small, wet nose touched my leg. I looked down and Cherry glanced up at me, never once breaking her steady, sure pace. Every minute or so Cherry would simply touch her nose to my leg, almost as a reassurance to me and to her. She was making sure I stayed close and letting me know that she was there as well. 9 years later, and I still remember our dependency on each other that day. 

As long as I can remember, Cherry has slept on my bed with me. I don't usually like things or dogs touching me when I sleep (good luck with that, Matt!) but Cherry and I worked. You see, Cherry doesn't like to be messed with or touched too much either. So we worked out a system and we have both slept comfortably on my twin sized bed all these years. And even if for some reason she chooses not to sleep on my bed at night, I still sleep in the same diagonal position as if she were there. It's a natural feeling. When I left for 3 months and moved to Wisconsin, my sister said Cherry not once slept on my bed the whole time I was gone. And when I returned, she resumed her spot on my bed as if I hadn't been gone. 

Now, my girl is an oldie. I call her Grandma now because of her gray hair and how she shuffles around the house from her weak back legs. I am nervous for the day that she can't leap up onto my bed but if I have to, I'll lift her myself. I would do anything for my odd, water-hating, allergy-stricken, sometimes cat-like, black lab. 

Happy birthday, my little weirdo.